Anger is an emotion that needs control. Many find it hard to control. I though being a doctor am not immune to this personality problem. Many a times I find it hard to control my anger when the workload increases, when patients do not comply. But as every one discovers after the storm is over that the damage has been done, so did I.
But the silverlining is that now I am minimizing my anger by following some of the following strategies.
1. Know when you are angry.
This is very important to halt the cascade. Otherwise when anger starts and you express it, it will go on a roller coaster ride, untill you know that it is over. It is important to know that you are getting angry. The only way to know is to take actions slowly. This takes practice, patience and perseverance. Dont do anything in hurry. Always think about the pros and cons. This way your actions will take more time, but you will have a window to think about. The tripping point if avoided will actually save you from loosing a full afternoon. So Take actions slowly after thinking atleast twice.
This is vital. Practice it every situation.
2. You are the creator of your own destiny, remmber You are in control.
I have never known a person who was not aware that he was angry when he was using foul language purposely. What I mean to say is many a times though we are aware that we are getting angry, still we knowingly let it go. Now that is loosing control. We can change our destiny, why can not we change a simple decision of ours? After all it is we, who are getting angry.
3. Deep breaths and Counting do they help?
I dont know. Both of them actually increase my anger as I think I am doing all this because the person who is making me angry is also forcing me to do all these things. So it does not help me. So how to control anger then. Well read on.
4. Move out.
It is actually not the best idea for anger management, but the first one you can achieve easily. Just get out from the scene. If it is not possible then simply change your posture. It may sound weird, but it helps a lot. Change the chair. Just walk out to a distance. The idea is to move out from the position that triggered anger within you.
5. Vent your anger without expressing it.
Think about the filthiest word that you can think to use against the person, but are not going to use because of its profanity. Well you know that he has not done anything so bad. so you will feel pity on him. Remember I am not using the old forgiving startegy. I am actually using the opposite strategy. Give the
person the worst scolding in your mind. OK your mind gets a little hot. Still you will feel either of two emotions. He deserves this. Come on he is not that bad, he is just another looser. Word of caution use only one word that comes to your mind. If you think of more than one word then you are in trouble.
So just one word.
6. Do not stop what you were doing before getting angry.
Now this is quite difficult. Still it is the most effective way for many. It not only diverts our mind from getting further angrier, but also it prevents people knowing that you got angry. But the word of caution is do things slowly. Most people if are told to do work then they do it in a jerky and forceful way, that we want to avoid. So do it slowly, normal anger will speed it up a little. The effective speed will be the same as before.
7. Dont take any decisions, do not drive when you know that you are angry.
Most decisions in anger are regretted. In occasions I ahve been angry with shopkeepers and instead of demanding a refund I have just left. So leave the scene, but be in vicinty. Not driving when you are angry is a no brainer.
8. Get a physical way to channel out not vent your anger and no calling names.
What I mean is do some physical work. Anything like exercise, running, boxing with a punch bag. Hand washing clothes. gardening, sweeping your room. BUt all have to be done when you have moved out from the scene.
9. Use philosophy.
This principle is when everything is working or if everything is failing. Be philosophical. Think about the bigger picture. Consider the responsible one being tried when the time comes for his guilt. Forgiving is an age old philosophy. Be positve. You will find opportunity in disguise of a frustrating experience.
10. Stop getting angry.
As this is easier said than done so I am putting this last. I know it is quite difficult. So I will first apply the
principles on myself then I will write about those principles.
So for now have a nice day. And manage your anger effectively.
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